Cover of Kinsey Howard Stern---->F'ing P Giamatti (Private Parts)---->Danny Devito (Man on the Moon)---->Jack Nicholson (Mars Attacks)---->Kevin Bacon (A Few Good Men) So I spent part of the evening seeing the movie Kinsey. You know, the bio-pic with Liam Neeson. Seriously, I saw more penis and dudes making out than I'm necessarily comfortable with, but seeing a movie with AP and her friend was an adventure in and of itself. At times things were thrown at the movie screen, at others "eat a cock" was shouted. It was a lot of fun, but boy am I glad we were the only ones in the theater. Good news on the housing front. Beaker knows of a three bedroom w/ a finished basement in Livonia that is going for $1,100 a month. That'd be perfect for Beaker, Loc, Do and I. He'd better get on it jiffy quick.

Lots to do today, so here's a quick couple of things I wanted to mention before I forget. 1. I was in 7-11 yesterday when I noticed a man in his mid-20s walk in with twin boys who looked to be around 5'ish. Rather than walking over to the Slurpee machine like I figured they would. Instead, the man walked right to the magazine rack and started grabbing spank mags off the top shelf. The magazines, of course, were wrapped in plastic, so he just grabbed three or four and tucked them under his arm. Then to get an immediate fix, he grabbed a copy of FHM and flipped through it to take a look at the pictures of girls in their lingerie. I find myself noticing things like this more often now that I have my own little one on the way. I don't think you're ever going to find me taking my kid with me to the store to buy porn. Best shirt ever. 2. I had a bizarre dream last night that I got hired by some cult leader to be her assistant (which, by the way, why do you never see a female cult leader?) Anyway, this woman got ...

I'm told that I didn't spell Jason Lee's kid's name correctly, so my apologies to Pilot Inspektor. Now, with that out of the way, here's an update on what's been going down with me. One, I finished my first assignment with a local newspaper this evening, and just let me say that high school wrestling has never sounded so exciting as when a Rusty Shackleford spin has been put on it. I was a bit nervous before heading out on this assignment, my first as a stringer with this daily newspaper. It's been a little 2 1/2 years since I wrote my last bit of news copy, so I was afraid that the rust would show. It did, of course, when I neglected to ask the coaches what their teams' records were after the match. Fortunately, a few phone calls took care of that. Yatta! In any case, the editor seemed pleased, and the only substantive editing that needed to be done was to cut a couple graphs to make it fit on the page. Otherwise, the editor said "I'm a happy customer." That, of course, was music to my ears. Heck, I even made it out of there in time to get ...

Bullets To Broadway via last.fmI've got a moral dilemma. My friend's band released an album, and I missed them when they were in town, so I didn't get a chance to pick it up. Now I could order it online, but I hate doing that, so my only option left is going to the store to pick it up. That's where the problem starts, you see, Best Buy and FYE don't carry Bullets to Broadway, so the only place I can get it is *shudder* Hot Topic. I went into Hot Topic once, but I don't really remember it. You see, I was going in to buy my a gift for my friend Tiffani, and all I can recall is that as I left the store -- Tiffani's gift in hand -- I could hear the sobbing of several emo kids over the dull hum of the latest Jets to Brazil album. I must have blacked out, but I must have done some serious damage, as I had blood all over my shirt and eye shadow covering the toes of my shoes (indicating several Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kicks.) So to prevent any further emo/goth kid tragedy, I was hoping to forever avoid Hot ...

So you've probably noticed that things look a bit different around here. Yes, I had a flourish of creativity that resulted in a darker look for the site. After an orgy of clicks, drags and keystrokes, I find myself sitting in front of the computer at 4 a.m. listening to two English guys talk about the FA Cup while cutting and pasting the new code into Yahoo's ridiculously user-unfriendly free Web hosting service. Non sequitur alert!!! So just what the heck is the FA Cup, you ask? Well, in England, the soccer leagues are set up a lot like our baseball system. There is a top league like our Major Leagues (Premier League) and then there are four levels below that, kind of like our minor leagues. That's where the similarities end, however, as the bottom three teams in each league are "relegated" at the end of each season. Right now my favorite club -- Birmingham City -- is second to last in the Premier League and is facing a possible demotion if they don't go on a tear and start winning games. Essentially, the bottom three teams go down and play in the level below them, while the top three teams are ...

So another year has gone by, and I barely remember what happened to make this different than any other year. Sparing you a full-blown year in review like everyone else is doing, here's the rundown (in order of significance): 1. I started dating an amazing woman, KS, at the very end of August. I'll spare you the lovey-dovey gush gush stuff. Suffice it to say, she's the best. 2. I lost my job last June. In the interim, I've been designing Web sites occasionally, as well as doing other work when I can get it to make ends meet. Yesterday was the drop dead date as far as the job hunt goes, so it looks like I'll be waiting tables sooner rather than later. 3. My aunt had a stroke (to go on top of another stroke she had last year), had complications with her medication that created blood clots in a foot which she later had amputated, seemed to recover and then finished out the year with a debilitating stroke from which she's not going to come back. Say a little prayer for her and my uncle, won't you? 4. I moved into the WSJP ranch with Chach and J. last April. It's ...

I got a message from Bronson today, I guess he's saying I've finally turned the corner: Someone finally peaked his head out of the shit of getting fucked with a big rubber cock of hate by a former lover (in other words; being funny again). Thanks Bronson.