I found this on Reddit. You can find the original here.
What a liberal says...
Capitalism is a good system that works very well in cases where demand for a particular product or service is elastic, and the barriers to entry into the market are low. It fails in cases of monopolies or highly inelastic demand (such as health care,) because offering a better product at a lower price isn't always the best way to accomplish the ultimate goal, namely maximization of profit. In these cases, it makes sense for the government to step in and regulate heavily or provide the product or service itself.
What a conservative hears...
WE HATE CAPITALISM! SOCIALISM FOR EVERYONE!
What a liberal says...
While we understand that in some cases a higher tax burden can reduce investments in new business, we also know that providing services to the poor often causes money to "bubble up," as the poor spend almost all of their income, whereas rich people tend to accumulate more money. "Redistributive" policies such as the New Deal and its ilk have been shown time after time to help us recover from serious economic trouble. This is evidenced by the correlation of economic expansion with said "redistributive" policies.
What conservatives ...