If you ever want to bring the house down on karaoke night, all you need is a rocking tune, an energetic performance and a hairy dude in a poodle skirt. Trust me, it works. It was Halloween night in 2004 and a bunch of us ducked out of a party and headed to a bar on the corner to grab a few beers and show off our costumes. I can't recall what all of us wearing, but I'm sure that our friend Camo made a dashing woman, complete with a pink poodle skirt, blonde wig and a low cut shirt that revealed chest hair whose equal could only be found on Burt Reynolds. So there we were, all dressed up and drinking beers in the back of a dive bar. The seven of us were the only ones in the place wearing costumes, which meant there we were plenty of sideways looks as we walked into the place. Now karaoke is rarely a good idea, but for some reason after a few pitchers of Livonia Lite, those bad ideas start seeming like genius. So of course, impaired judgment somehow managed to get us to put our names in, settle our tabs and head ...

I saw this picture while logging in to MySpace the other day (yes, I still have a MySpace account, shut up.) Anyway, for some reason, I couldn't stop staring at the picture. The band, Madina Lake, is some up-and-coming screamo band, which, as if looking like they do wasn't enough to piss me off and make me hate them, just being part of that whole genre made me want to put my fist through my monitor. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="367" caption="Seriously. WTF?"][/caption] At first, looking at the picture made me angry. I have a visceral response to hipsters and the EMO-tionally retarded that usually results in profanity and threats of violence. Why the hell would you want to look like your hair was cut and styled by a junkie who took clippers to half your head then passed out? So for some reason this image was completely mesmerizing. The more I stared, the more I felt like the brunette guy on the left was looking into my soul. Wait, is that the creepster from Wedding Crashers who paints the naked picture of Vince Vaughn? Nevermind. So yeah, I couldn't look away from the picture, even with pedo-bear on the left and his creepy eyes. There ...

Cover of Superunknown There was a thread on a music message board I regularly participate on that asked, "What are the 10 most influential albums for you?" It got me thinking and really took me back. Here's what I came up with... Soundgarden/Superunknown I remember being an angsty teenager and my parents picking up and moving me away from all my friends to a completely new and strange town. This album — as dark as it is — got me through that time. The Offspring/Smash I was a sophomore in high school when this came out and my snot-nosed little brother and all his dorky friends were super into Green Day. They listened to Dookie non-stop, so I hated it on principle. Then I found this album and it opened up the whole punk world to me. I remember us all piling into the mini-van with the one guy in our group who was old enough to get his learner's permit, blasting Bad Habit out of the crappy, factory speakers. Less Than Jake/Pezcore I saw these guys play at the Shelter in Detroit when this album came out. I had never been into ska before, but there was so much energy in the show ...

I stumbled across this video the other day and just had to share it. I'm not sure what it is, exactly. It sounds like a hybrid rap, dance, electronic, screamo song. The kids kind of dress like they are emo/hipster idiots, but they are trying to throw down some rhymes about bitches and hoes over the thumping beats of something you'd hear at a dance club. It's like some talentless hacks took the worst parts of all those genres, pissed on them and then filmed a video over it and put it on Youtube. It makes me want to vomit. Enjoy! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8F5YSA1Oz0&hl=en&fs=1]

Bullets To Broadway via last.fmI've got a moral dilemma. My friend's band released an album, and I missed them when they were in town, so I didn't get a chance to pick it up. Now I could order it online, but I hate doing that, so my only option left is going to the store to pick it up. That's where the problem starts, you see, Best Buy and FYE don't carry Bullets to Broadway, so the only place I can get it is *shudder* Hot Topic. I went into Hot Topic once, but I don't really remember it. You see, I was going in to buy my a gift for my friend Tiffani, and all I can recall is that as I left the store -- Tiffani's gift in hand -- I could hear the sobbing of several emo kids over the dull hum of the latest Jets to Brazil album. I must have blacked out, but I must have done some serious damage, as I had blood all over my shirt and eye shadow covering the toes of my shoes (indicating several Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kicks.) So to prevent any further emo/goth kid tragedy, I was hoping to forever avoid Hot ...

Seriously, it was bizarre, but amazing. Captured! By Robots made for one of the strangest nights of music I've ever been party to. Read more about it here.

Lorraine West, whom I've come to realize has pretty astute judgment when it comes to music, compiled her list of the Top ten albums of 2004. Of the ten, I have two (Green Day/American Idiot, Interpol/Antics) and have had plans on getting one more (N.E.R.D./Fly or Die) for quite some time. Most of the other albums on the list are very obscure and range from a North African pop singer to an early-60s experimental album by Bill Cosby and Quincy Jones. There are also a few mainstream albums on there, namely Kanye West and Bjork, but neither are really my type. I've gotten a few corrections from today's column already. Yes, I know that the drinking bandit was in Columbus, Ga. and not Columbus, Ohio; and yes, I know that Bryan Adams is Canadian, not British. Dammit, this is what happens when you pile crap on me and then expect me to turn out a good column. Actually, it is pretty good today. Take a read if you have the chance. One guy sent me an email message correcting my Bryan Adams faux pas with the subject line reading: "Embarrassed to know Bryan Adams trivia." I said I was ashamed to make ...