You Are 74% American Most times you are proud to be an American. Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home. You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you! How American Are You?

noonish Sunday, May 29 Come join in the labor day fun. We'll be getting together between noon and 1 p.m. to start the drinking, we're hoping to have a softball game going by 2 p.m. The real drinking and barbecuing and such begins about 5'ish. So come drink our beer, eat our food and puke in our toilet. The party will be going late, so come by any time. Directions: 1. Take Merriman south to Cherry Hill 2. Turn right on Cherry Hill (West) 3. Take Cherry Hill west past Venoy, to S. Schuman. You'll see a large brick building that houses a piss doctor (urologist) on the left side. S. Schuman is the street immediately after that. 4. Turn left on S. Schuman. 5. Follow S. Schuman to the fourth stop sign. You'll see a school on the left side, keep going. 6. The Shacktown estate is on the left side at the fourth stop sign (northeast corner). Just in case, the address is 1495 S. Schuman. Give me a call if you get lost.

Recipe for Joe Novak: 1 part dirty fucking hippy. 1 part corporate shill. 2 oz. Maker's Mark Kentucky straight bourbon whisky. Three ice cubes. Stir gently. Serve chilled. Your Political Profile Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

TV Party at my place this coming Sunday. Freaking Family Guy, oh yeah! Also, don't forget, if you play cards you're always invited to the cash game on Wednesdays. Call me for directions.

As per Monday-morning protocol, here is the weekend recap: Friday: I spent Friday night playing poker at a friend from college's house. More accurately, I should say that I spent it at Loc's ex-girlfriend, who we all still talk to because she's a super-cool girl's house. It was Loc's ex-girlfriend, her husband and two of her coworkers. I was definitely out of place and lost in many of the early conversations. Once the tequila started flowing, however, the party started to loosen up. There was this girl there named Kathy who was cracking me up all night. The unfortunate thing about it was that she didn't know what the hell she was doing. Any time I bet big, she'd call, all the while looking at me with this really cute look on her face, like she was trying to read me. The thing about that though is that at one point she busted my pocket Aces with a 6-9 unsuited. She caught two pair on the river and doubled up, playing the hand because she "had to play it, it was 69. hehehe." She also busted my A-K suited with trip 3s and my pocket kings with a straight draw on ...

Turn it up...bring the noise. Yeeeeeeah, booooy. I can't get Public Enemy out of my head. While on my way to poker last night I decided that no matter how much I play, no matter how hard I try, I'm probably never going to be as good a card player as my friends, much less as good as the sharks at the casinos. I guess it's like how I look at driving a stick. I know how to do it, but I'm not very good at it in real life. So I decided that I need to just fold, fold, fold until I get cards. When I get them, I'm just going to bet them and hope someone goes with me. Amazingly, it worked. I walked out of there with $60 in my pocket, $50 up for the night. I think I was the only one at the table who didn't put more than their original $10 in the pot. I held my own and actually walked away with some cash. I have a pretty good streak of only playing my original $10 going. Generally people will spend $20-$30 buying more chips after they've lost all theirs, so not busting until the ...

Brace yourself for the most depressing day of the year. Today supposedly is the day, according to psychologists, when Americans feel the most depressed. It's about this time every year when the bills start rolling in from Christmas and we realize that, after three weeks, our New Year's resolutions were just a bunch of bullshit. If you're like me, and are actually feeling all right today, here's a list of things to be depressed about (in no particular order): 1. Ukraine: Ukraine looks like it's about to explode from all the political strife. Unless it calms down jiffy-quick, look for a new war in Europe to break out sometime soon. When Russia comes to the aid of one side, it's only a matter of time before we come to the aid of the other. 2. Snow: Seriously, look outside, there's like two freaking feet of snow on the ground. I hate the snow. I hate the way people drive in it and I especially hate how people say "We got a foot at my house, how much did you get at yours?" Like it's some kind of fucking contest. Fuck the north, I'm moving to Alabama. 3. Members of the opposite sex: There's ...