The things drunk people say never cease to amaze me.

The wife and I were out yesterday celebrating the accomplishments of a snake-charming Irishman. We were with a large group, some of whom we knew from before, others who we had just met that day. We were having a good time, starting at the Corner Brewery in Ypsi, everyone seemed nice and funny, until the beer started kicking in anyway.

After a while in Ypsi, we decided to move on to Ann Arbor. We all convened at the Arbor Brewery and just as the wife, Porter and I sat down, one of the guys we’d just met, I think his name was Ben, leans over to me and says in a hushed voice Man, can I confess something to you? At the last bar, I crapped my pants a little bit.

I had no idea what to say, so he continued.

It was just a little bit, you know, so I was in the bathroom trying to clean it up. I was trying to wipe it out of my underwear *at this point he makes a wiping motion with his hand as his fiance glared at him*

I mean, I tried to control it but I just couldn’t hold it in any more.

We didn’t hang out with that group much longer.