Image via WikipediaWe were talking about the Kane family egg roll, which I think is one of the most fun and most odd traditions I’ve ever been a part of. We all gather at the Kane household in P-berg and dye dozens of eggs. We write all manner of inappropriate things on them, including all the things that have been frustrations and problems for us throughout the year.

Once we’re all done, we each pick our favorite and play a game where we try to smash the ends of each others eggs. Ms. Kane unmercifully destroyed my Old English D egg last year with a swift downward motion and an evil chortle. I vow revenge this year.

So after the game, we gather most of the eggs, gather on the back porch and roll the eggs off the end. Symbolically, we’re washing ourselves of the previous year’s worries by throwing away the eggs. In reality, we’re feeding the family of raccoons who gather in the ravine below.

It’s a wonderful tradition, and after the upcoming set of holidays, thinking about it helps me slog through the frozen tundra of where ever I happen to be on that day.

The reason this came up is because Porter and JK were having a discussion on Facebook about it and Porter mentioned she hates Easter. To which I responded:

What’s wrong with Easter? It commemorates the day zombie Jesus came back to hide Cadbury eggs among the fields of plastic grass in Bethlehem for the Disciples to find. After which he floated up to Heaven on Noah’s Ark.

Of course he did this all for you, Porter. He did it so that some day you too can go to Heaven and ride go-karts with baby Jesus, Mary, her little lamb, Cheryl’s cupcake tin, Joan of Arc, Benjamin Franklin and Bettie Page.

In the Kane family tradition, we celebrate this day by feeding raccoons hard-boiled eggs. It’s a blast!