I’m told that I didn’t spell Jason Lee’s kid’s name correctly, so my apologies to Pilot Inspektor.

Now, with that out of the way, here’s an update on what’s been going down with me. One, I finished my first assignment with a local newspaper this evening, and just let me say that high school wrestling has never sounded so exciting as when a Rusty Shackleford spin has been put on it. I was a bit nervous before heading out on this assignment, my first as a stringer with this daily newspaper. It’s been a little 2 1/2 years since I wrote my last bit of news copy, so I was afraid that the rust would show. It did, of course, when I neglected to ask the coaches what their teams’ records were after the match. Fortunately, a few phone calls took care of that.
Yatta!

In any case, the editor seemed pleased, and the only substantive editing that needed to be done was to cut a couple graphs to make it fit on the page. Otherwise, the editor said “I’m a happy customer.” That, of course, was music to my ears. Heck, I even made it out of there in time to get to my hockey game. Sadly, Eastside’s request that I score some goals was denied when, after I deked the pants off the goalie on a breakaway (I know, imagine me with breakaway speed,) he dove back across and somehow got the tiniest part of his glove on the puck, deflecting it high. As Polio would say, selah, we won anyway.

Also, Alan has decided that he wants to help KS and I name little Rusty (which is what we’re going to call him until a suitable name can be found.) My personal favorite is Walker: Texas Ranger Shackleford. Like I said before, however, a kick from the baby while still in the womb is enough for KS to have to deal with. The last thing we need is to name the kid Walker: Texas Ranger and have him roundhouse kicking his way out of there.

Finally, I know I’m always giving you videos to check out, but believe me, they are soooooo worth it. Here are a few, and please, please, please start with the Yatta! video. I put a link to their video on this blog back in September, but this performance is from the Jimmy Kimmel show and has subtitles so you can see just how bizarre these people are. For those of you who don’t know, they’re a Japanese singing group called Happatai who wear tighty whities with a fig leaf in front. My favorite line is “We’ve got recession these days/In government we have no faith/Could we hit reset, that’d be number one/And since we’re all here it’s so much fun.” Nothing like political and social commentary from a bunch of Japanese dudes prancing around in their underwear trying to look like Adam.

Also, heads up for the break down, where they recite the classic lines “I drink water that’s tasty/All right!/I get in the sun and feel toasty!/All right!/Having a belly laugh is fun/All right! All right!/Try keeping dogs — they’re cute!”

I’m sure it all makes perfect sense in Japanese. As for me, I’m wondering just what the hell is in that saki that makes people come up with crazy-assed ideas like this (and more importantly, just what the hell makes people actually enjoy this for more than the strange, unintentional comedy of it all.)

It’ll have you scratching your head thinking WTF?!?!?! but it’s definitely worth a look. You may think I’ve outlined the entire thing for you, but you seriously have to see it. Also, take special care to look for the one fat guy in the group, you can’t miss him, he looks about 10 years older than the rest of the guys and has a huge gut. KS told me I have a strange sense of humor, I’m sure this just proves that what she said is true.

Yatta on Kimmel
Hurra Torpedo covers Total Eclipse of the Heart

I thought about saving the final video for another time, but it was just too bizarre to not post now. It’s the strangest band (I’m using the term “band” loosely) you’ll ever see playing the classic 80s cover on a Danish talk show. Seeing the video inspired me, and I think I finally found the secret to the fame and fortune I so strongly desire.

See, Eastside, Dr. Tobias and I could get a toilet with a fuzzy seat cover, a side-by-side refrigerator with an ice maker in the door (chipped ice is a must) and a sousaphone. We could work out a cover the Steve Miller Band’s the Joker and make a fortune in the low countries. We’d be to Denmark what David Hasselhoff is to Germans and Jerry Lewis is to the French. I can hear it now: “some people call me Maurice *ice grinding and popping out of the refrigerator door*”