You got steamed up. Pissed as a fart. Too much sauce, son!

Categories: Humor
Written By: Rusty Shackleford

So you’ve probably noticed that things look a bit different around here. Yes, I had a flourish of creativity that resulted in a darker look for the site. After an orgy of clicks, drags and keystrokes, I find myself sitting in front of the computer at 4 a.m. listening to two English guys talk about the FA Cup while cutting and pasting the new code into Yahoo’s ridiculously user-unfriendly free Web hosting service.

Non sequitur alert!!!
So just what the heck is the FA Cup, you ask? Well, in England, the soccer leagues are set up a lot like our baseball system. There is a top league like our Major Leagues (Premier League) and then there are four levels below that, kind of like our minor leagues.

That’s where the similarities end, however, as the bottom three teams in each league are “relegated” at the end of each season. Right now my favorite club — Birmingham City — is second to last in the Premier League and is facing a possible demotion if they don’t go on a tear and start winning games. Essentially, the bottom three teams go down and play in the level below them, while the top three teams are promoted to the level above them. It’s like the Detroit Tigers being sent down to AAA baseball and the Toledo Mud Hens being promoted to the MLB.

All right, with all that out of the way, on to the FA Cup. Essentially, you’re looking at a tournament where all the teams from all the leagues play against each other. It’s like the Quad City River Bandits taking on the New York Yankees. All the teams, from Arsenal and Manchester United to Stoke City and the Wolverhampton Wanderers have the chance to win the cup. The first week sees all the lower-tier teams playing the Premier League teams, which is like an upset fan’s wet dream. Will Leitch of Dead Spin said it is like watching a week’s worth of NCAA tournament 16th seed vs. 1 seed match ups. The whole thing starts next week, I can’t wait.

All right, so back to the real post, here goes…

So if Yahoo’s Web hosting service is so burdensome, why don’t I buy my own domain name and get a good hosting service, you ask? Well, it all comes down to the lack of motivation on my part which is at a level so low, it’s matched only by the dismal amount of traffic this site sees. I know, I know, it’s my fault for never updating it, but I’m going to try harder from now on, I promise.

That said, I’ve finally begun to understand why poor people don’t vote.

To illustrate, let me start by giving a quick synopsis of a typical day in my world. I start in the morning searching the job boards, from stuff in my profession in this area, I expand out to neighboring states, then further out. From there, the search expands both geographically and with regard to the career fields in which I’m searching. I spend a lot of time on the phone, and an inordinate amount of time at Kinko’s making copies and using the fax machine. In addition, I’ve become quite good friends with the ladies at the Post Office.

Add my hockey games, volunteer work and the Pee Wee hockey team I coach and it keeps me running constantly. My friend Danielle said I am the busiest unemployed person she’s ever met.

I’m not complaining, I’m setting the scene. The point is this, I’m too busy to follow politics and the news. I try my best to follow what’s going on, but working my daily routine simply doesn’t allow for it. Poor people, who are working their butts off just to make ends meet are in the same boat. They can’t follow politics because by the time they get home for the night from their second job, they still have to feed the kids and do the laundry. We need to do something about that, I’m sick of the upper-middle class and more importantly, the rich, getting their way just because they have the money and the time to influence politics.

Speaking of all that, I read a story in today’s Detroit Free Press about leaders from several major “Christian” organizations pressuring Ford Motor Co. to drop it’s advertising in publications catering to the gay community. I’m like a powder keg sitting in the middle of the smoking section of a diner, and you’ll see the results tomorrow, when I have time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys, as it may be) to express my outrage yet again.

Until then, enjoy the pretty new design.

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