My debut with the American Eagles was a success. As the newest member of the team, I had two assists in our 5-2 win over a team of hacks sponsored by my new favorite bar: The Crowe’s Nest. Apparently it went so well that they’ve asked me to join their other team, which starts in January. I’d never leave the Rebels, either, so that means I’d be playing for the American Eagles (yes, I know it’s kind of a gay name, but it comes from the business that sponsors the team,) on Mondays and Wednesdays in Canton and Wixom respectively, and with the Rebels on Thursdays and Sundays in West Bloomfield. That’s a whole lot of hockey.

It was a nice change of pace being just one of the members of the team, rather than the man in charge. I don’t even hear my own name any more when it comes to the Rebels, it’s always “how ya’ feeling tonight, coach?” I definitely think I was more relaxed without having to worry about letting down my buddies or living up to whatever my brother’s team is doing. I played 100 times better tonight than I have in a long time.

That aside, I want to just make a brief comment about how I’m feeling right now. I know it’s a downer, and I’m really sorry to beat a three-month-old dead horse, but I just need to get it off my chest. Last spring, while EB was home, she went to a wedding shower for her best friend at Eastside Mario’s on Plymouth Road. I picked her up after the festivities and you should have seen the look in her eyes, she was positively glowing. We had been talking about getting married for a little while at that point, and you could see that she was not just genuinly excited about the prospect of marriage, but that she was excited about me being the groom. Every time I drive by that place I think of that day.

That brings me to my bigger point. I should have been in the middle of packing tonight, getting ready for a plane ride to Texas and a long, but wonderful road trip back home. This week or next would have been the time we would be packing all of EB’s things up and moving them back here. It’s kind of depressing, when you think about it. How quickly and drastically my life changed directions scares the hell out of me. Some days it’s just too much to handle. Fortunately, those days are becoming more rare. This holiday season is going to suck. I just can’t wait to be on the other side of it.

It’s an interesting time in my life. I’ve made reference in things I’ve written before to other girls. I’ve talked about girls I’ve met, girls I’ve gone out with and even girls I’ve kissed (when I say it like that it sounds so junior high.) I guess, as I sit here and look at myself, I realize that none of it means anything. The types of girls I’ve gone out with run the gamut. I tell my friends about it sometimes, other times I quietly spend the evening out and don’t tell them what I’m up to. I hang out with my core group of friends most nights of the week, so a night away from that sometimes raises eyebrows. Do said something strange to me yesterday when I was talking about the phone number girl at Loc’s party (see below for story). He asked me if anyone could confirm the story, like I would make something up so inane. The sheer number of stories I have about girls I’ve gone out with in the past three months would boggle his mind, I’d of course have to top the collection off with stories about Mia, from the mall, but I digress.

I guess the point in my rambling tome is that I hate auditioning. I hate spending time with girls, trying my damnest to feign interest because maybe, just maybe, I’ll discover a redeeming quality. I hate the process of dating and I want to get out.

See, this is usually the place where I’d say “I wish EB would just move back, we’d both say we’re sorry and we’d move on with our happy little lives.” But you see what I did there? I’m miserable, but it doesn’t have anything to do with EB any more. Dammit, how did I get here?