With my mini-vacation ending, I have just a few odds and ends to clean up:

1. I don’t know if it was the size 64 jeans with the elastic waist band or the dirty pony tail sticking out from under the rainbow-colored NASCAR cap. Maybe it was the way he was yelling across the bar for the waitress to bring him another drink every ten minutes. It could have been in the way he demanded the drink, holding up his empty glass and pointing at it with his thick, sausage-like fingers. Maybe it was the fact that he was drinking Captain Morgan’s and Diet Coke (as if the Diet Coke was going to help him shrink that waistline.) Whatever it was, it made me never want to go back to that redneck bar again, despite the fact that they have every NFL game on one of their 20 or so televisions.

2. I have a new motto to live by: Nobody messes with Miller Time. I damn near got into a fight at the end of our hockey game tonight when this stupid pond rocket was hacking on our goaltender. He tried getting in my face, but I just stared him down and fortunately he backed down. The kid was slightly shorter than me and I definitely had some weight on him. If he threw a punch he was going to get the beating that had been coming to him all game. I guess in the end he realized, just like the old-school ice hockey game for Nintendo, you just don’t fuck with the fat guy.

3. The movie Sliding Doors is pure evil. Why would anyone want a movie that makes them think “what if this event happened just this little bit different, look how my life could have changed for better or for worse.” I’ll be honest, that movie makes me think just a little more than I want to. I fucking hate that movie.

4. Having half of next month off for vacation will actually be a good thing. I thought I’d go nuts, but I’ll finally get to finish the Detroit restaurant guide I’ve been trying to work on for some guys at work. I can’t wait. Geez, I’m lame.